It seems lately that no conversation can be had on any subject without someone being called a "liberal," wherein the term "liberal" is intended to mean "traitor" or "Hitler" or something similarly pejoritive. Sample conversation:

Person A: "I prefer rollerball to ball-point pens." Person B: "You liberals sure do hate America. Why do you hate America so much? You should be in jail."

This trend annoys me more every day. Especially when it comes from my parents. I reveal very few of my opinions to them, other than to criticize what I think is bad logic in miscellaneous topics. Criticizing a conservative view doesn't mean I hold a liberal one, though. Two "liberal" opinions that I have expressed openly include: President Clinton shouldn't have been impeached (a defense of the sitting president -- how revolutionary -- usually a conservative attitude); Gore won the election in Florida and the Supreme Court decision was inappropriate (though I acknowledge that the Supreme Court has the final authority in the matter). Another opinion that got me labeled as a "liberal": nothing said or done by the middle-eastern-descended medical students in Georgia warranted the one-day "terror scare" that led to their arrest. You don't need to be liberal to believe that; you just need some fucking common sense. In light of all this, I thought it might be helpful to write down some definitions, just so we can keep fresh the meanings of our divisive political labels. I took these from dictionary.com.

lib·er·al - Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded. [makes me shudder just thinking about it] right wing - The conservative or reactionary faction of a group. con·ser·va·tive - Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change. One who desires to maintain existing institutions and customs; also, one who holds moderate opinions in politics; -- opposed to revolutionary or radical. Resistant to change. Opposed to liberal reforms. re·ac·tion·ar·y - One who favors reaction, or seeks to undo political progress or revolution. An extreme conservative; an opponent of progress or liberalism.

It seems that these terms are rarely applied with much accuracy. During the past few years, radical changes have been made in the powers of the Executive branch. The justice department has the authority to make secret arrests, detaining citizens and non-citizens for indefinite periods of time without public release of their names or the charges against them. They can be prevented from contacting their families and lawyers. Public accountability is eliminated due to "national security," and we must simply take their word for it that the detainees deserve what they get. Was it left-wingers or right-wingers who are nervous about too much police authority? Or was it neither and both? I'm just trying to figure out which wing I'm on so that I know which rhyming slogans to chant, and who to throw poop at, and who I can be friends, and which of my family members to denounce and so on.