Another ass-rific conversation with sadly imitable J. Stephen Garrett occured on Foppery these last few days. The flame-fest eclipsed the thread's actual purpose of discussing The Chairman's new photo blog in New Zealand. Mr. Garrett burst onto the scene with some typical cock-waving, non-sequitors, and cries that nobody answered his "arguments" but that he didn't want them to anyway. I find it baffling that someone like this even exists. I therefore decided to preserve the conversation for posterity. Highlights are as follows:

Iraqi tyrant deposed, millions liberated, US soldiers smooched by happy citizens in the streets---Foppery "oddly" silent. Well, then again, so is the New York Times. Not to beat a dead horse, but amusing reading nonetheless that is quite relevant to the question posed a few weeks back (you know, who is more frightening to the Chief Fop---Saddam or Bush). Enjoy: http://www.nytimes.com/2003/04/11/opinion/11JORD.html? -Posted by J. Stephen Garrett at April 11, 2003 01:36 PM Heck, why be coy---here's the relevant section. Not that I want to detract you from the *true* news of the day, like King Missile or Sigur Ros, naturally. This piece appeared in (of all places) The New York Times, courtesy of Eason Jordan, a CNN reporter who notes that CNN refused to broadcast news of Saddam's atrocities for fear of reprisals directed at their Iraqi employees by the regime once headed by that jolly fellow Saddam, the man who scares liberals more than W. [some quotes from the NYT article about Iraqi attrocities follow] -Posted by J. Stephen Garrett at April 11, 2003 01:40 PM From www.dictionary.com: ger·mane (adj.) - Being both pertinent and fitting. Synonym: relevant. JSG, go start your own blog if you want to dictate the topic of the thread. -Posted by Chris at April 11, 2003 05:07 PM Chris---good to see you've found a dictionary. Consider it a fine friend in ridding you of those orthographic troubles that riddle most of your posts. Free speech (that is, if it's not the "God the US is horrible/capitalism is the scourge of Allah" sort of speech) really kills you, huh? Incidentally, I noted with pleasure that not ONE of the arguments put forth in the last post were addressed---the leftist, as always, presented with FACTS and REASONS and routed back to his dingy one-bedroom flat like a whipped dog. I bet those Iraqis waving American flags just drives you crazy, doesn't it? Anyway, rousing the rabble on Foppery is always a delight. As to having my own Blog, that's not a half bad idea---thanks for the inspiration. -Posted by J. Stephen Garrett at April 11, 2003 06:36 PM JSG: You've put a great deal of effort into picking pointless fights in these threads, but I don't think I've ever actually stated my politics. I did not notice any arguments in your posts, which is why they received no response. You also shouldn't assume that I'm out looking for the same fights you are. Who/what I support or don't support is something I usually keep to myself. In conversation, I look for a mutually edifying exchange consisting of either new facts or interesting analysis. You are mostly useless for that type of conversation. You want me to wear a "leftist" costume so that you can use me to act out some strange fantasy of harassing the leftist. I don't call myself a leftist. In fact on campus here in Canada most people would percieve me as a conservative war-supporter. I am neither. I just prefer to have balanced conversations that give fair coverage to all sides. With Jim and the fopperites I tend to let that slide a bit because the forum is designed for glib remarks, not in-depth conversations. I have taken this time to explain myself in the hopes that you will realize that you will not find a sparring partner here. If you want to inform, enlighten, or discuss, then I'm sure I and everyone else would welcome your *polite* conversation. I leave you with one more word from dictionary.com: ha·rass - To irritate or torment persistently. To wear out; exhaust. To fatigue; to tire with repeated and exhausting efforts; esp., to weary by importunity, teasing, or fretting. -Posted by Chris at April 11, 2003 11:04 PM "Why won't anyone respond, point-by-point, to my anal and pedantic non-sequiturs?" You sound like a laugh at a party, mate, but I'll have to pass. Chris and Jim are always welcome. Bad news Jim, not a single Klingon, belly dancing or otherwise at the "Armageddon: Aucklands Pop Culture Festival." Or at least none that I saw. Maybe I'll actually go inside tomorrow. Chris! I'd love to talk to you sometime soon. I was going to say that I don't have your e-mail address... But it turns out I do, so I'll do so right now. -Posted by Lord ViperScorpion at April 12, 2003 03:57 AM Contrary to Chris's thoughts on the subject, I think that Mr. Garrett makes some extremely salient points. I've decided to address them as follows: If a nation beyond a reality tunnel finds subtle faults with the Californian essay, then a steam engine implodes. Now and then, some utilitarian paradigm falls in love with a worldly photon. A lasagna assimilates a false geodesic dome, because a paycheck learns a hard lesson from a football team living with a peak experience. Now and then, a class action suit ostensibly pees on an eggplant near a recliner. When the horse appears to be pagan, the sexist corporation gives secret financial aid to the masochistic apartment building. -Posted by James at April 12, 2003 10:58 AM Chris/James/LVS (odd how so many of the grey little creatures see the need to name themselves after more colorful personalities drawn from the media): Who says I want you to respond to *anything* I say? Honestly, I must admit that the notion of toying with your little minds amuses me, in that it's interesting watching you attempt to *think*, but as for a response from you---bah. I don't expect it. You are just a few examples of the worthless American student-for-life class and its endless variations, whose indolent, spineless, snivelling, worthless existence is made possible by the brave young men and women now manning the cold and lonely frontier ramparts of civilization. Those folks provide you with the right to be glib and ironic; you should be thankful for them. I must confess, though, that baiting and skewering y'all is much like the USAF buzzing the late unlamented Iraqi air force---fun to get a rise out of the peons, and fun to send their air-jalopies burning to the ground. After all, to sup with the Devil you must first descend into Hell. Mark me, JSG -Posted by J. Stephen Garrett at April 12, 2003 03:38 PM Chris---one more little point, as to your little tirade contending that you're not a leftist. I have had hundreds of conversations with folks who say they're "not liberal or conservative", who go on to expound their view that Bush is equivalent to Saddam, that America is an imperialist, bellicose power, and that capitalism is worse than Pol Pot. Of course you're not a liberal or a conservative---you're a freethinker, right? Naturally. -Posted by J. Stephen Garrett at April 12, 2003 03:49 PM One last try, JSG. You said: "I have had hundreds of conversations with folks who say they're 'not liberal or conservative', who go on to expound their view that..." Kudos to you for having so many conversations with people who are not me. Before demanding that I answer a long list of your "arguments," you might try finding out whether I actually disagree with you. I've never said anything about my attitude toward capitalism, nor have I actually declared a stance (to you) on the war in Iraq. My opinions are my own, and I do not share them with you because 1) you haven't asked for them, and 2) you are not worthy to hear them. And if you must know, the only polical party to which I've ever been an actual member was the Libertarian party, which are usually not classified as "liberal." If you want to learn how to cope with "free thinkers," you might pick up a copy of Reason magazine. If you can manage to actually pay attention to the content, you might find that authors in Reason agree with your opinions a lot of the time. You might also get a chance in some cases to see what a good argument looks like. I might also add that if not for the "indolent, spineless, snivelling, worthless existence" of long-term students like me, those brave men and women in uniform would not have spiffy satellites and communications equipment and computers and digital listening devices and guided missiles and stealth bombers and all the other high-tech things that actually require partially educated minds to successfully produce. Although certainly the best of technological advances can't stack up to the vast contributions made by a moronic jackoff with a business degree, or whatever. I close with a reference to our previous conversation: fuck off. -Posted by Chris at April 12, 2003 04:23 PM This is exactly what I've been talking about, JSG. This post was supposed to be an announcement for the benefit of my friends who know LVS and want to know how he's doing. But you decided it needed to be a flamewar. I banned you once before, and you seemed to think it was based on your political views. Nothing could be further from the truth. I know that it pleases your ego to think that you're being censored for your "radical" thoughts, but you're not. Your take on current events is about as interesting as Bill O' Reilly on a cough syrup binge. This has to do with the fact that you're an arrogant prick who relishes nothing more than thumping your chest trying to get a rise out of people you don't even know. How pathetic is that? You're just wasting everybody's time. In your own words: "Who says I want you to respond to *anything* I say?" You don't care if anyone responds to your posts, thus you're not trying to contribute to a discussion. And you're being insanely pretentious while you're at it. "Mark me". Please. For your trouble you've been banned. Again. Any posts you make will subsequently be auto-deleted. So please take your ranting somewhere else. And in the words of Shatner: "Get a life!" -Posted by Jim at April 12, 2003 05:02 PM

There you have it. While JSG's comments were not initially directed at me, these conversations have tended to be primarily between he and I because I am usually the only one who attempts to respond. Perhaps I shouldn't, but like I said, I have a hard time believing that this guy is for real. There must be something with a brain behind all this nonsense. I failed in all of my efforts to reach the supposed gray matter that belongs to this guy. So to JSG, I say keep raging against whatever it is you're raging about. Take the power back, man.